“Empathetic limits help your child build positive self-esteem. Even as they are corrected, they know they are still a good person.”- Sarah Rosensweet
When we correct our children, especially if they are sensitive, sometimes what they hear is, “You are bad.”
We need to make sure that we lead with empathy when we need to correct them.
If your child hits: “You must have been so upset to hit your brother. At the same time, sweetie, you can tell your brother how you feel. You don’t need to hit.”
When we lead with empathy and acknowledge our child’s point of view and their feelings, we are letting them know that we understand. They know we still think they are a good person even though they did something wrong. This is important not only for the development of healthy self-worth, but it helps a child take responsibility for their actions when they can do so without feeling shame. It is our empathy that lets them feel remorse: “I did a bad thing,” rather than shame, “I am a bad person.”
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Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com
![As parents, we all face challenges, but what happens when traditional parenting approaches don’t work?
That’s why my client during this call, Samantha, is actively transitioning to a Peaceful Parenting approach.
We’re talking through how those challenges can feel even more intense when your child is more sensitive and needs additional attention and understanding.
Join us to discover major tips for a more peaceful parenting journey.
Go to https://link.chtbl.com/Z_YOP4jb to listen to this episode now, and share it with a friend you know needs to hear it too.
[ID: Photo of child and parent arguing on a blue background. Audiogram reads, “Yeah. The fact that he brought it up again tells me that he’s got some shame around it and feeling bad about it. So we don’t need to bring it up in a corrective way. I’m going to exaggerate for the purposes here, but, you know, yesterday when you bit me, biting is not okay. We don’t bite in our house. We don’t want to do any of that. He already knows that, right? There’s no information gap where he thinks biting is okay. So the healing that has to happen is around he needs to feel like, back to the beginning when we started talking, he needs to feel like you still think he’s a good person and that’s why he brought it up, because he feels bad about it. So you can say to him and he says, oh, what did he say again? Remember yesterday when I bit you? Yeah. And he said, I’m a bad boy. So you can say there’s no such thing as bad boys. Mhmm, that is, yeah. They’re only boys who sometimes are having a hard time.”]
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