“Join them in their world when they’re little so you’ll be welcome in their world when they get big.” – L.R. Knost
I love this quote from the wonderful LR Knost and I can tell you that it is 100% true.
Every week in our Facebook group, we share our ‘wins.’ I try to share mine as well.
This was mine this week: “My middle son (17) FaceTimed me on New Year’s Eve from a party to wish me a ‘Happy New Year.’ My oldest son (20) regularly phones me to say “hello” ever since he moved out this fall.”
Both of those things make me so happy and also reassure me that kids growing up might not be so awful after all.
What does it look like to ‘join them in their world when they’re little’?
Do Special Time. If you can swing it, 15 minutes a day with each child– “I’m all yours for the next 15 minutes. What would you like to play?”
Play. If you can’t swing Special Time with each child, try to play with all your kids for 15 minutes a day. Get them laughing! Kids against you in a monster-chase game.
Be curious. Not into playing? I know it can be tough! Get curious and ask questions about what your child is playing and show as much interest as you can about them and what they’re into.
Be present. Try to have time every day when you aren’t distracted by your phone and your to-do list. If you have to attend to an email or similar, let them know. “I have to send a work email! I’ll be right back with you.”
Listen. It can be hard to pay attention to a rambling story from a 4 year old (or a 14 year old!) Try at least a few times a day to be an active listener to your child.
Share space. This was easy for us because, for my first 12 years as a parent, we lived in a 1.5 bedroom/ 680 square feet little house (with 3 kids, 2 cats and a dog!) Even if we weren’t doing anything together, we were in the same space. Put a little art table in your kitchen, catch up on work on your laptop while your kids play.
Want some more support?
Book a free short consult with me.
You can also join our free Peaceful Parenting Facebook group.
Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com
![As parents, we all face challenges, but what happens when traditional parenting approaches don’t work?
That’s why my client during this call, Samantha, is actively transitioning to a Peaceful Parenting approach.
We’re talking through how those challenges can feel even more intense when your child is more sensitive and needs additional attention and understanding.
Join us to discover major tips for a more peaceful parenting journey.
Go to https://link.chtbl.com/Z_YOP4jb to listen to this episode now, and share it with a friend you know needs to hear it too.
[ID: Photo of child and parent arguing on a blue background. Audiogram reads, “Yeah. The fact that he brought it up again tells me that he’s got some shame around it and feeling bad about it. So we don’t need to bring it up in a corrective way. I’m going to exaggerate for the purposes here, but, you know, yesterday when you bit me, biting is not okay. We don’t bite in our house. We don’t want to do any of that. He already knows that, right? There’s no information gap where he thinks biting is okay. So the healing that has to happen is around he needs to feel like, back to the beginning when we started talking, he needs to feel like you still think he’s a good person and that’s why he brought it up, because he feels bad about it. So you can say to him and he says, oh, what did he say again? Remember yesterday when I bit you? Yeah. And he said, I’m a bad boy. So you can say there’s no such thing as bad boys. Mhmm, that is, yeah. They’re only boys who sometimes are having a hard time.”]
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