“Put yourself on the to-do list. If mama’s not happy, no one’s happy!”- Sarah Rosensweet
So many parents I talk to are frustrated and saddened when they lose patience with their kids or wake up dreading another day.
The thing is- it is SO hard to be patient or joyful when our resources are low. It might be impossible.
I’ve learned when I’m feeling annoyed by my partner or my kids, it’s not them, it’s me. They’re acting how they always act! It’s that my resources are low. I haven’t had any time alone, or I’m tired, or I haven’t gotten any exercise.
Frequently throughout the day: Stop and think, “What do I need right now?” Are you hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Are you breathing? Do you need to go to the bathroom?
When you are making your schedule: When do you get to exercise? Have some white space? Or whatever you need to recharge.
You don’t need to sacrifice yourself for your family. No one benefits when we don’t take care of ourselves. Plus, we want our kids to learn to meet their own needs and take care of themselves. It’s hard for them to do this if they don’t see us doing it.
Even if you have to start out doing it for your kids so that they will have the best parent possible- that’s okay. Whatever motivates you to put yourself on the to-do list!
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Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com
I really needed to hear this episode. I’ve been having a hard time and I need the reminder to work on myself. The insight into how my husband is feeling unworthy and unlovable and criticized really made sense. I am the adult who throws the tantrums in my family and I am also the parent who really studies and tries to learn about peaceful parenting.