“Parenting isn’t about what our child does, but about how we respond. “- Dr. Laura Markham
Sometimes all we can control is how we respond, this often more true than not with parenting!
Trying times, lack of energy, and stress can really affect how we respond.
The thing is….
If our child is misbehaving–
Responding with empathy is THE ONLY THING we need to remember.
The only way our child will calm down (or want to calm down) is if they feel understood and their feelings are acknowledged.
Think about the last time you were really upset.
Maybe your partner did something that really made you mad. What would be your reaction if your partner said, “Calm down! Take some deep breaths!”
What about if your partner said, “Hey, I’m so sorry. You have every right to be upset. I totally understand why you are so angry. Is there anything I can do?”
Way different, yes?
When our feelings are acknowledged and met with empathy, we start to feel better and we actually WANT to calm down.
You don’t have to agree to empathize.
You only have to acknowledge and try to understand.
Want some more support?
Book a free short consult with me.
You can also join our free Peaceful Parenting Facebook group.
Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com
![As parents, we all face challenges, but what happens when traditional parenting approaches don’t work?
That’s why my client during this call, Samantha, is actively transitioning to a Peaceful Parenting approach.
We’re talking through how those challenges can feel even more intense when your child is more sensitive and needs additional attention and understanding.
Join us to discover major tips for a more peaceful parenting journey.
Go to https://link.chtbl.com/Z_YOP4jb to listen to this episode now, and share it with a friend you know needs to hear it too.
[ID: Photo of child and parent arguing on a blue background. Audiogram reads, “Yeah. The fact that he brought it up again tells me that he’s got some shame around it and feeling bad about it. So we don’t need to bring it up in a corrective way. I’m going to exaggerate for the purposes here, but, you know, yesterday when you bit me, biting is not okay. We don’t bite in our house. We don’t want to do any of that. He already knows that, right? There’s no information gap where he thinks biting is okay. So the healing that has to happen is around he needs to feel like, back to the beginning when we started talking, he needs to feel like you still think he’s a good person and that’s why he brought it up, because he feels bad about it. So you can say to him and he says, oh, what did he say again? Remember yesterday when I bit you? Yeah. And he said, I’m a bad boy. So you can say there’s no such thing as bad boys. Mhmm, that is, yeah. They’re only boys who sometimes are having a hard time.”]
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