“We do the hard work of peaceful parenting so we don’t pass our own pain down to our children.” – Sarah Rosensweet
No matter how well-intentioned or lovely our parents are, most of us have some childhood wounds.
No matter how privileged we are, most of us have experienced pain and suffering.
No matter how aware we are, most of us are not very good at meeting our own needs.
Childhood wounds, our own struggles, and our own unmet needs are often at the root of the triggers we experience as parents. Our children are uniquely situated to hold up a metaphorical mirror for us to show us what we need to work on.
After working with me to make their family lives easier and more joyful so many parents say, “This work isn’t even about my kids! It’s all about me!”
This is the big secret of doing this peaceful parenting work. (Not so secret anymore I guess!)
The hard work of peaceful parenting is that we look at our triggers and try to heal them.
We try to discover and heal our childhood wounds and take care of ourselves.
We try to be compassionate with ourselves in the face of pain and suffering.
We try to put ourselves on our to-do list and meet our own needs.
If we don’t? It’s likely that we will continue to be triggered by our children. When we are triggered, we unintentionally cause pain.
If we don’t want to pass our own pain on to our children, we need to show up every day and try to be peaceful and use the tools and regulate ourselves. We are honest with ourselves about our responsibilities in our relationship with our children. We try to be aware of where our triggers are coming from and heal them.
As many parents have discovered, peaceful parenting work is about US. It’s also HARD. And it’s also worth it! I believe in you. You can do this!
Want some more support?
Book a free short consult with me.
You can also join our free Peaceful Parenting Facebook group.
Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com
![As parents, we all face challenges, but what happens when traditional parenting approaches don’t work?
That’s why my client during this call, Samantha, is actively transitioning to a Peaceful Parenting approach.
We’re talking through how those challenges can feel even more intense when your child is more sensitive and needs additional attention and understanding.
Join us to discover major tips for a more peaceful parenting journey.
Go to https://link.chtbl.com/Z_YOP4jb to listen to this episode now, and share it with a friend you know needs to hear it too.
[ID: Photo of child and parent arguing on a blue background. Audiogram reads, “Yeah. The fact that he brought it up again tells me that he’s got some shame around it and feeling bad about it. So we don’t need to bring it up in a corrective way. I’m going to exaggerate for the purposes here, but, you know, yesterday when you bit me, biting is not okay. We don’t bite in our house. We don’t want to do any of that. He already knows that, right? There’s no information gap where he thinks biting is okay. So the healing that has to happen is around he needs to feel like, back to the beginning when we started talking, he needs to feel like you still think he’s a good person and that’s why he brought it up, because he feels bad about it. So you can say to him and he says, oh, what did he say again? Remember yesterday when I bit you? Yeah. And he said, I’m a bad boy. So you can say there’s no such thing as bad boys. Mhmm, that is, yeah. They’re only boys who sometimes are having a hard time.”]
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