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In peaceful parenting, we set limits with empathy. We make sure our children know that we still think they are good people, even as we have to correct them. Our children are worthy and loveable, even though they sometimes make mistakes and bad choices.

When our children have tantrums, or act out, or are difficult, we give them love and
compassion and empathy for what a hard time they are having. We don’t expect them to be perfect or only love them when they are ‘good.’ Our love for them is unconditional.

Why would we hold ourselves to a different standard?

We are still lovable and worthy even though…. We will have tantrums. We will make
mistakes. We will be wrong.

(for a free download of the I Don’t Have to be Perfect colouring page above, click here)

We don’t need to be perfect. Our children are resilient. We can make repairs when we mess up. We can love ourselves through the hard times. We can give ourselves compassion.

When you are suffering, when you feel like you have to be perfect, give yourself a self-compassion break.

(This is adapted from Kristin Neff- Did you catch her on my podcast? Click here to listen!)

Make contact with the feeling as it arises in your body. Hand on heart, for example.

1. Say to yourself: This is a moment of suffering.

2. Say to yourself: Suffering is a part of life.

Other options include:

  • Other people feel this way
  • I’m not alone
  • We all struggle in our lives

3. Put your hands over your heart, or wherever it feels good.

Say to yourself: May I be kind to myself.You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now?”

Soothe and comfort yourself. You don’t have to be perfect! You are worthy and loveable in all your imperfections.

(for a free download of the I Don’t Have to be Perfect colouring page above, click here)

This post is one of the lessons from my Peaceful Parenting Mantras colouring book. Colour your own reminder “I don’t have to be perfect”. You can learn more about it here.

Want some more support?

Book a free short consult with me.
You can also join our free Peaceful Parenting Facebook group.

Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”

Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com

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