“There’s one thing only parents can do: love their kids unconditionally and provide them with a safe base at home. For children who are stressed at school or in other parts of their lives, home should be a safe haven, a place to rest and recover. When kids feel that they are deeply loved even when they’re struggling, it builds resilience.” – William Stixrud/ Ned Johnson
As parents, we can feel so anxious that we need to solve our children’s problems or fix difficult situations that they may be in. Maybe they are having trouble with friends, experiencing conflict with a coach or a teacher, or struggling with school challenges.
It is so comforting for me to be reminded that what we really need to do is just LOVE THEM.
No matter what troubles they are experiencing out in the world, we must reflect back to our children their own inherent worthiness and loveability. This is what will teach them that even though they are struggling, they are not defective or broken. They are good enough. This is true self-worth and is the key to resilience. Difficulty doesn’t crush us: we believe in ourselves and our worth as a person not because of our successes or failures, but because of our essential us-ness.
When we make our children feel loved no matter what and give them a sanctuary, their self-esteem remains intact. Ned (from the quote above) and I talked about this on my podcast in Episode 8. He and I both shared how consciously we tried to provide this when each of our daughters were having a hard time. (🎙🎧 Listen to Episode 8 of my podcast on ‘Raising A Self-Driven Child’ with Ned Johnson HERE.)
We can reduce our anxiety when we know that we don’t have to fix our kids’ problems or join in their stresses. We just need to let them know that they are deeply loved despite any challenges they are experiencing. We get to be the life raft that will help them weather the storms of life.
Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com