“Parenting is not like the playoffs. It’s a long game- not won or lost in a moment or a day.” – Sarah Rosensweet
I messed up.
It’s too late.
I’m ruining my kids.
I hear these thoughts from you all the time when you have a bad moment or a bad day.
A parent in my Facebook group shared-
“I’m struggling today big time. Both kids were behaving in ways they know they shouldn’t (colouring on the walls etc). I haven’t been able to fill any of their buckets, because I have nothing in me today. I made sure they’re fed and needs taken care of, but it’s the bare minimum and I know it. I ended up bribing them before quiet time with some of my chocolate, asking them to let me lie down in quiet. I feel like a horrible mom today.”
Everyone has days like this- and it’s okay. She made sure her kids’ basic needs were taken care of. She got through the day.
And the responses from the other parents on the thread? Beautiful. We’ve all been there.
Maybe you’ve said or done things you regret in the past (or today!)- yelled, shamed, withdrawn love. Things you wish you could take back.
I see how hard you’ve worked and I know you’ve done the best you could.
Maybe you wish you learned these tools earlier.
You have to forgive yourself for not knowing what you knew before you knew it.
Maybe you’ve held yourself to unattainable standards.
Your kids just need a ‘good enough’ parent.
This is the biggest lesson I have learned from my clients: The only way we can make the changes we want to make is if we are kind and compassionate with ourselves.
You know that your child needs your understanding and compassion when they are acting out or having a hard time. We understand that they are doing the best they can. We believe in their essential worthiness and we will help them learn and do better next time.
We need to do this for ourselves.
It’s never too late. This is a long game.
You may have “lost” the game today- but you’ll *never* be out of the playoffs!
Please remind yourself of this when you’re tempted to beat yourself up.
Want some more support?
Book a free short consult with me.
You can also join our free Peaceful Parenting Facebook group.
Sarah Rosensweet is a certified peaceful parenting coach, speaker, and educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three big kids (ages 15, 18, and 21). Peaceful parenting is a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We’ve got this!”
Read more at: www.sarahrosensweet.com
![As parents, we all face challenges, but what happens when traditional parenting approaches don’t work?
That’s why my client during this call, Samantha, is actively transitioning to a Peaceful Parenting approach.
We’re talking through how those challenges can feel even more intense when your child is more sensitive and needs additional attention and understanding.
Join us to discover major tips for a more peaceful parenting journey.
Go to https://link.chtbl.com/Z_YOP4jb to listen to this episode now, and share it with a friend you know needs to hear it too.
[ID: Photo of child and parent arguing on a blue background. Audiogram reads, “Yeah. The fact that he brought it up again tells me that he’s got some shame around it and feeling bad about it. So we don’t need to bring it up in a corrective way. I’m going to exaggerate for the purposes here, but, you know, yesterday when you bit me, biting is not okay. We don’t bite in our house. We don’t want to do any of that. He already knows that, right? There’s no information gap where he thinks biting is okay. So the healing that has to happen is around he needs to feel like, back to the beginning when we started talking, he needs to feel like you still think he’s a good person and that’s why he brought it up, because he feels bad about it. So you can say to him and he says, oh, what did he say again? Remember yesterday when I bit you? Yeah. And he said, I’m a bad boy. So you can say there’s no such thing as bad boys. Mhmm, that is, yeah. They’re only boys who sometimes are having a hard time.”]
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